Projectile Vomit: Another Birth Control Alert

O.K. I know, I know. It has been AGES since my last post and to my few followers out there looking for a laugh during these bleak, winter months, I offer my humble apologies. I actually have several blog "stories" that have been swirling about my tumultuous brain and they have only recently taken understandable shape. See what I mean? I've written just a few sentences and it's full of drivel....digressing already.

I still have my fabulous job at the gym/health club. I am truly enjoying it there not just for the tasty vittles but the socialization overall is great. I get to chat with people every day- moms and dads from my kids' school, people from the neighborhood, the cute little 60 and up guys who flirt with me (oh, yeah...I love the eye candy and the old guys love me, how's that for feeling your age!) I also have a great boss who was born the year I graduated High School...he's that young. He's very capable and a good manager (AND yes, ladies a little smoke, hot, honey!)but the poor kid has listened to his share of female drama. The owner's wife and I have a good rapport and she often comes to help with the office work. We love to dish about all things male and he's heard too many "estrogen charged" moments. There are times he just turns red and shakes his head...usually when we talk about the appalling size of our asses or bemoan the size of our boobs. He often laughs and leaves the room in the middle of said discussion because he's afraid of the over exposure to estrogen. Think of the education he is getting. He honestly ought to be taking notes!

We're also scaring the poor boy into a lifetime supply of condoms with stories about our kids! But there is nothing like first hand kid experience to really make a bachelor "run for the hills". Our SSHHBB (Sexy Smoke Hot Honey Boy Boss...don't you just love alliteration...) had to help out in the Kids Room this past weekend and there was a kid who was there only a few minutes before he proceeded to projectile vomit around the room. Kids were crying, barbie dolls had been puked on, there was that terrible vomit stench and the SSHHBB was standing in the middle of all of it in a state of frozen shock not knowing what to do. Luckily, there was a Mom picking up a child who got right to it and led SSHHBB through the rigors of cleaning, calming and escorting children to parents. After he related this now hilarious tale to me over the phone and after a hearty laugh on my part, I asked him the obvious question..."Did you buy a big box of condoms on the way home?" .....what a shell shock for a young man with no serious girlfriend and no children. It's a perfect reason to burn rubber on your way to the nearest drugstore to buy rubbers because for single guys and gals who have yet to experience it-the first big Projectile Vomit is Another Birth Control Alert!